I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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