STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
