hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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