I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
