Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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