On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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