your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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