i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
