Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize