He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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