Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize