you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
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The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
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He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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