areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize