Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize