Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
