did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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