That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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