the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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