I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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