I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
