I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
babies were throwing up all over the place
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
