Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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