So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Then you guys just all showered together...?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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