I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
