What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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