I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
