I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
