He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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