The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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