I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
