More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
