got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
