Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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