Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me

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(404): View more from Georgia

Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.

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(661): View more from California

I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me

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(860): View more from Connecticut

We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.

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(646): View more from New York

According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.

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(616): View more from Michigan

If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out

(417): View more from Missouri

You'd think the first few times would have been enough

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(+42): View more from

I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.

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