she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
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I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.