Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?

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  (859): Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga? (502): Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine? http://tfl.nu/6ljy
  Replies (11) Good night (1601) Bad night (585)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight

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  (617): yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight http://tfl.nu/f9xl
  Replies (29) Good night (664) Bad night (7576)
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  (909): View more from California

  I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.

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  (909): I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird. http://tfl.nu/n96h
  Replies (31) Good night (1099) Bad night (3897)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.

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  (540): I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it. http://tfl.nu/dv65
  Replies (45) Good night (11015) Bad night (2608)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  was that a mass text??

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  (804): Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing. (571): was that a mass text?? http://tfl.nu/0791
  Replies (60) Good night (11045) Bad night (2368)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.

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  (918): Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now. http://tfl.nu/99sk
  Replies (11) Good night (738) Bad night (3490)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

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  (443): We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status. http://tfl.nu/kzoi
  Replies (43) Good night (15216) Bad night (1363)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible

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  (816): I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible http://tfl.nu/v92i
  Replies (3) Good night (2313) Bad night (718)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.

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  (864): If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up. http://tfl.nu/qg7h
  Replies (11) Good night (2435) Bad night (890)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first

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  (312): Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first http://tfl.nu/6e2a
  Replies (3) Good night (922) Bad night (1052)
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  (323): View more from California

  BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"

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  (323): BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come" http://tfl.nu/th7x
  Replies (3) Good night (1076) Bad night (525)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital

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  (479): I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital http://tfl.nu/kjdp
  Replies (9) Good night (926) Bad night (421)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.

  (1-786): View more from Florida

  Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?

  (786): View more from Florida

  I insist.

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  (786): Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted. (1-786): Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat? (786): I insist. http://tfl.nu/nbuf
  Replies (2) Good night (1040) Bad night (291)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.

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  (512): I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles. http://tfl.nu/892f
  Replies (16) Good night (580) Bad night (1191)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight

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  (703): its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight http://tfl.nu/7hxm
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (282)

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