They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
