We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code