Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."