Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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