im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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