I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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