I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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