And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
