He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
