so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
