we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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