is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
