Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
