the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
