Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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