why didn't you poke me back
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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