my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
