OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
