I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wish you could order shots online.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
