i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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