My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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