the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
