How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
