my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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