You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
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thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
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How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions