It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.