Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.