whats a polygalesbian?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER