went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.