I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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