suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
where are my eyebrows?
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