I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
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You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
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You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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